Woman spoken secrets
by Maze-zen
Summary: Christine has gotten her first period and is frustrated. Erik tries to help as much as he can. I don't know why this came to mind, but I needed to write it to get it out of my mind. It's innocent E&C.


**The title is misheard lyrics from Point of No Return with Michael Crawford. It fitted nicely.**

**Enjoy this strange story that my mind conjured up!**

* * *

Erik quickly noticed that Christine was distracted in today's lesson. She fidgeted on the spot and sometimes stared into space instead of listening to his teaching. He tried to be patient, but it was never his strong suit, especially not after she had started to question his teaching at times.

"Why do I have to learn to sing in German when it's always Italian opera that is being performed?" She'd asked him a few days ago instead of accepting that he had chosen the German opera The Magic Flute for a good reason.

He was pretty certain it wasn't the lesson plan that bothered her today since she'd been like this when they warmed up her voice too.

"Christine, are you going to be distracted for the rest of the lesson? Because I have better things to do then." He didn't of course, but there was no reason for her to know that. Her eyes widened as his stern voice echoing through the room.

"I'm sorry, Angel." She whispered and started to tear up. Erik cursed himself for having used his stern voice. He actually noticed now that she looked very uncomfortable, perhaps even in pain.

"What is bothering you, child?" He asked kindly and he saw her relax visibly, but her legs shook. "Sit down." He was glad to see her follow his command when she sat down on the stool next to her spot, but she still fidgeted and twisted her hands like she did when she was nervous. "Tell me what is bothering you."

She swallowed and looked at the mirror as if she knew he was in there. She didn't of course because he threw his voice, so it came from the walls, but somehow she always ended up looking at the mirror. Was it to see her own reflection or could she sense his presence?

"I dare not say, Angel. I was told that it wasn't something one talked about." She said shyly. This worried him. Had someone done something awful to her and told her not to say anything?

"Christine, I am your Angel. You can tell me anything and no one will know." He tried to keep his temper in check, but he was barely holding on to it when he thought about anyone taking advantage of this little girl. She shifted on the chair and winced momentarily. He did not like it! "Has someone hurt you?"

She shook her head, then held her head down in embarrassment. "I had my blood today."

Erik didn't quite understand what it meant. He hadn't heard the expression before. Had she cut herself or was it some Christian ritual he didn't know about like the Eucharist? "What do you mean?"

"My menstruation, Master. It means that I am a woman." She answered in sorrow.

This baffled Erik. He'd heard about the menstruation, the monthly bleeding that women had. It was true that it wasn't something one talked about and especially not Erik. He didn't know how to react. And Christine was surely too young for womanhood. She was only 13 years of age after all.

Christine continued when her Angel didn't say anything. "The Bible says that I am unclean now. And that the pain is a part of the punishment for the woman's sin. I don't want to be punished, Angel. Why does God punish me?" She cried in earnest now and Erik felt distraught. He didn't like when she cried, but usually it was because he'd been too hard on her or someone at the opera had said been mean. Those things he could fix. He didn't know how to help her at all or even anything about the Bible's view on the subject. He'd read it, but it wasn't quite what he'd focused on at the time.

"But Christine, it is a wonderful thing to be a woman. Surely a little pain is something to endure for the gift of womanhood?" He tried his best to sound optimistic when he was anything but.

"It is not a little pain. It hurts constantly! Why does God favor the men and look down on women?"

"He does not." Erik answered a little confused. "God loves all his children equally." Or so he'd been told, not actually experienced.

"Then why are we made to be helpers of men and why does the Bible say that we should obey our father and husband and otherwise be quiet?" She continued in frustration. Erik wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't noticed those parts of the Bible. Surely she must be mistaken. She cried harder now. "I don't want to be a woman!"

"Oh, but Christine, to be a woman is a wondrous thing!" He said cheerfully, finally something he felt confident about. To be a woman and adored by all!

"What is so great about it?" She wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

"Your beauty of course! It is beyond comparison!" He said triumphant and admittedly a bit in awe. "Think of everyone who will love and adore you!"

She groaned in pain as she held onto her stomach. Or perhaps her womb. "What good is beauty when your life is decided upon by men? When your beauty fades, there's nothing left but the command of a man and monthly pains for a sin I never committed."

Erik wasn't really sure how to respond. He didn't know much about the world, but he'd never thought it could be a bad thing to be a woman. If what Christine said was true, then it didn't seem very wondrous at all.

But he was sure that she was in a lot of pain. He'd seen her break an toe once and she'd barely made a sound at that. "Child, we will discuss this another day. Right now you need to take a warm bath and have something to eat. Take care of yourself and we'll continue your lesson tomorrow."

Christine nodded and left solemnly while Erik hurried down to his home. He needed to prepare a trip to the library tonight.

* * *

Erik was perplexed by the concept of menstruation and womanhood. He'd ready nearly everything he could find on the matter, but it still made no sense to him.

He understood the physical aspect of course. When a woman begins to develop eggs in the ovaries and the eggs don't get used, they are discarded. He also realized that Christine's age of 13 was a normal age to start menstruating. However he didn't understand why it had to hurt so much for a woman when it was something that happened so regularly.

Another thing he didn't understand was the Bible that praised the ability in women to create life, yet called a menstruating woman and even a woman who had just given birth unclean! The Bible also seemed to look down on women in general. It said that they were to be quiet, obedient and not be above a man. Eve, the mother of all creation, was even just made to be a helper to Adam, the first man. Perhaps a helper who could handle the birthing, so Adam didn't have to. According to the Bible men were the rulers of women and women were lower creatures.

Christine had been right to say that it wasn't good to be a woman as he had always believed. Surely a woman with deformity like his own wouldn't have been treated well either. Perhaps he would even have been killed right after birth, had he been female.

He thought about Christine. While he wanted her to listen to him as her teacher, he didn't want her to be quiet and unquestioning. God had gifted her with a talent and an intelligent mind, surely those things shouldn't go to waste? She wasn't unclean, not even when she was bleeding. She was beautiful and innocent and a faithful child of God. Then why did she have to suffer for her gender, assigned by God himself?

Erik didn't know the answers to all these questions and reading didn't help him find any. But he found a few ways to help Christine which was his purpose in life. Erik was made to be a helper of Christine.

* * *

Christine dragged her feet from ballet class. She was so tired. Though she had her blood, Madame Giry said it wasn't an excuse and she had to dance through the pain like everyone else. She had been reprimanded many times for her clumsiness and her pain had only gotten worse. One of the older ballet rats had laughed and said that her wide hips made her bleeding pains worse. Christine hated her hips which were wider than any of the other girls. She'd started dancing much later in life than any of the other girls and Madame Giry had told her that was the reason for her larger hips. It made her less graceful and she stood out compared to the rest of the rats.

Her body was truly aching now and she hoped that her Angel would let her sit down, so she could rest a bit. He'd at least seemed understanding the day before and even listened to her complain which she really shouldn't do in front of him. She knew that she annoyed him at times with her questions and that it wasn't her place. However she felt like she had to know the reasons for his decisions to become a better singer and she couldn't stop herself. Luckily for her he was more patient than Madame Giry.

When she entered the old dressing room where they had lessons, she noticed a faint smell of rosewater. Instead of the usual stool there was an armchair with a hot-water bottle and on the floor in front of the chair was a bucket with soapy water. A table had been placed next to the chair. On it was a white rose with a black ribbon and a box of chocolates!

"Good day, Christine." Her Angel greeted her. "In light of recent events I've decided that you deserve rest the next few days."

"Whatever do you mean, Angel?" She was bemused. He'd never changed anything in the room. She didn't even know that he could. He must have a physical form, unless he has someone to help him.

"I know you're in pain and I want to help you. Please sit and soak your sore feet in the water. Put the hot-water bottle in your lap and eat some chocolate, then I'll play and sing for you if you'll like."

She started to cry in pure relief and in awe of his kindness. "Oh, Angel, this is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me! But I don't deserve all this. Surely there's others who deserve it more?"

"I am your angel and it is my job to care for you. Please sit." She did as he said and sat down, pulling her ballet shoes off to soak her feet in the warm water. It felt glorious. She placed the hot-water bottle in her lap and leaned back to feel the heat travel through her body and relaxing her. Then she opened the box of chocolates. There were so many! She hoped that her Angel would allow her to share some with Meg.

"Christine, I want you to know that what the Bible says about women isn't true. You're not created to obey men nor to be quiet and obedient. You're a songbird made for freedom. Your pain is not punishment for a sin you didn't commit. It's how your body reacts because it's able to create life." Her Angel's words confused her.

"But isn't the Bible the word of God?" Surely an angel would know.

"It is, but the word of God was written down on paper by men and sometimes men make mistakes. This is one of those times. Now sit back and let me play for you."

Christine always did what her Angel told her to do, but sometimes she questioned his decisions. This was not one of those times.


End file.
